What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger...

Lately ni rasa depressed sangat. Stressed and upset. Too much thinking of lil angel. Rasa what I've done for her is not enough. I didn't put much effort in her development. Guilty and disappointed. Rasa macam useless sebab tak membantu anak sendiri. Next month she's 2 years. And I expect lots of things that she can do in her age IF i devote myself for her. Poor me. I'm such a bad..bad mother. Yes, i feel like one now! I feel like all the people are pointing at me, blaming me for her delays. Sebab I've planned so much for her but have no time to make it happen.

I want to spend more time teaching her flash cards.. or sign language..

I want her to have her own schedule..and make sure she'll follow..

I want to train her to be independent..understand instructions and follow simple rules..

I want to send her to school..Wisma Harapan or KIWANIS to name a few.. mix around with others, have new friends, learn new things..

Later on, i want her to go for swimming class..or piano class or ballet..

But most important right now is I WANT HER TO WALK..ALL BY HERSELF..

Yes, I know she needs her own time but I believe if I help her, maybe she need less time in achieving something.. I feel like quitting my job if that's the best solution. But then I found out it's not that easy. Therefore, I really need to do something extra. Eventhough I know it won't be much, at least Allah knows my intention to help her. 

Anyway, lil angel da pandai pegang botol susu!! =D Alhamdulillah, finally at 1 year 10 months 20 days she can hold the bottle by herself. Tau, lambat.. but I'm so proud of her! =) Dah 3 malam berturut dia terjaga tengah malam and minum susu sambil pegang botol, kalau tak jangan haraplah.. selalunya mummy die la yang kene pegang everytime die minum susu.

Cute kan? ;)

Finally, kad OKU lil angel siap juga. After 4 months waiting (JKM kata boleh siap dalam sebulan...konon..), semalam dah pun pegi collect dekat JKM Daerah Hulu Langat. Almost 2 1/2 jam jugaklah mencari tempat, sesat sampai nak ke Semenyih.. nasib baik sampai before office dia tutup. Sometime rasa JKM ni menyusahkan jugak. Konon-konon nak memudahkan tapi susah lagi ade. Masa nak apply tu diorang kata kena pegi JKM daerah yang berhampiran dengan address rumah, sedangkan masa tu JKM satu building je dengan ofis aku ni haa...siap tak nak accept application tu, suruh jugak pegi ke JKM yang berhampiran.. so the nearest to Ampang is JKM Daerah Hulu Langat. I thought, it's somewhere kat Langat, rupanya dekat Jalan Reko, Kajang nun haa... Takde laa dekat sangat ponn.. Haihh...