Friday, June 29, 2012


I'm not a pro beader..

But this week I've got an ad-hoc assignment..

My auntie asked me to 'do something' to her daughter's kurung for my sister's engagement this Saturday..

So, here it is..

 Syuhada, hope u'll like it.. =)

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Talk To Me: Retarded..

I HATE the word...


Especially when it refers to SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN.
Personally, it sounds MEAN, RUDE, CRUEL.
And it hurts me!! (So, please mind your word..)  

All these words mean basically the same thing.

Well, I found a story, an interesting one to share.

It's about..


I've reposted this (credit to the writer), so maybe someone will think twice before using the word 'retarded'.

All around me, people use the word retarded without a second thought. Sometimes, I’ll say “Um, dude, really?” and they’ll say “Oops, my bad! But really! I was being so retarded!”

Sometimes, I let it slide. I realize that it’s a word that’s ingrained in our society’s vocabulary and people use it without a second thought to its meaning.

But what does it mean to be retarded? Well, I know what it doesn’t mean.

It doesn’t mean not being able to choose something for lunch despite 100 choices in front of you.
It doesn’t mean not being able to find your car keys.
It doesn’t mean saying the wrong thing to a person.
It doesn’t mean forgetting your best friend’s birthday.
It’s not something to describe yourself as when you’ve spilled your coffee, or tripped on a crack in the sidewalk.
It’s not something to describe your computer, car or phone.

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary the word “retarded” means -
: slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress

For me, it’s not just any old word – it’s my daughter.
My beautiful, bright, happy, loving, amazing daughter who is slow or limited in intellectual development and academic progress.

In our household, being retarded means something different.
It means not being able to fully care for yourself.
It means not understanding what the doctor is going to do to you.
It means not being able to explain what hurts when something hurts.
It means not being able to ride a two wheeler. Or read. Or ever be able to live on your own.

But ever the optimist, I also know that retarded means…

…never realizing the negativity behind the word retarded.
…never knowing the insensitivity surrounded the word’s usage.
…never realizing the ignorance of people.
…never knowing how other people view you.

Being retarded also means…

…loving unconditionally.
…finding joy in the smallest of things.
…being self-confident.
…not realizing that there are limitations.

One of Emma’s diagnoses is cognitively disabled. Which means retarded. When you call yourself retarded, you’re also calling my child stupid. Because you use the word as just that – another form of stupid.

Let’s get something straight here.

My daughter may have cognitive issues. She may have delays. She may never live on her own. Scratch that. She will never live on her own.

But Emma is not stupid.

In her own way, Emma is very smart. Maybe smarter than us at times. She has more self-confidence than anyone I know who’s called themselves “retarded”. She is the best judge of a person’s character than anyone else I’ve ever known.

Yes, she is slow to learn things. But she is not stupid.

I know that most people don’t use the word “retarded” maliciously. Most people I know use it in a self-depreciating way. And when I point it out, they go “Oh wow! I’m sorry!” and they truly feel like a heel. But the thing is, you’re still using it in the way that people who do use it maliciously use it as – to describe stupidity.

So why not just use the word “stupid” instead? Because I know what “retarded” is.
I live with it in the form of my daughter.
And in our world “retarded” doesn’t equate to “stupid”.

Thanks for reading.
So please, next time before you want to say a word.. CHOOSE WISELY!! 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Finally... The Bird Can Fly!! =D


It's been 2 years 2 months and 2 weeks before..

My DHIA AZRA AWFEEYA can finally...WALK!!!

Syukur..Syukur..Syukran Ya Allah..

No words can express this beautiful feelings when I saw with my own eyes.. my own super special daughter, my lil angel WALKED to me without any support!! It's UNBELIEVABLE!! Seriously, rasa macam mimpi!! Oklah, maybe I exaggerate more.. She actually walked only 5-6 steps towards me before she fell down. Tak kisahlah!! Yang penting, she made that effort!! And I still consider it as WALKING..

I really LOVE this moment.. Beautiful moment of mine.. Only You know how it feels, ya Allah. Betapa bersyukurnya aku padaMu setelah sekian lama aku bermohon, berdoa dan berharap, akhirnya Kau tunaikan jua permintaanku. Dan aku satu-satunya insan yang ada bersamanya saat dia berani membuka langkah. I'm so proud of you, Awfeeya!! You know it from the beginning, i bet you know. I'm proud in every single achievement you've made so far.

Well, I know it just the beginning. More practice has to be done before she could run. But I know that deep inside, awfeeya betul-betul ada semangat dan dah tak sabar nak berjalan. Effort dah ada. Most of the time, dia akan tolak her mini chair buat support untuk dia berjalan cari mummy kat dapur, or cari daddy. Sejak bibik tak ada, no one nak dukung dia sangat, so either dia merangkak atau tolak mini chair tu untuk ke sana sini. Semalam, lepas balik dari kerja, I spend my short quality time with her, while daddy cuci kete kat luar. Sambil-sambil main and nyanyi-nyanyi dengan dia nursery rhymes (yes, I love singing and entertaining kids sampai my auntie kata u should open your own nursery, but actually i prefer entertaining rather than menjaga n mengasuh so bukak nursery is no-no kot..heee..), I put her on leaning position on the sofa. Then I move a bit untuk bagi dia ruang berdiri. Suddenly dia panggil "mummy..mummy.." sambil depang tangan minta disambut and dia jalan kedepan..Only 1-2 steps then da sampai. I tried again but this time I duduk jauh siket from her. And that's the time when she walked like 5-6 steps towards me! And I can never forget her expression. She was so excited and proud with herself, yes it showed on her face!! She laughed and laughed and i hugged her with joy and my mouth kept praising Him.

Later that night, we're celebrating Awfeeya's BIG achievement. Daddy volunteered to cook something special. Since mummy's craving for Burger Bakar Kaw-Kaw, daddy made it specially for this occasion...